pics

There are some nice pictures of Dad on a few of my recent posts on my other blog.

• click here for pics
• click here for video

update from don

Hello to all -
Difficult for me to sit up and type - Balance still not good
so my blog is out of date. It is harder than I expected to adjust to my new life. Everything is hard until I get more strength in my arms. I am able to sit up about 4-5 hours a day and making slow progress every day.
Family has been great. Barb going to Hawaii (Kauai) the end of the month with Christy for a week long well deserved break.

Best wishes to all.
Don

mountains falling into the heart of the sea

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea. ~Psalm 46: 1-2

finally a note from me

Sorry to be so slow with my first real blog. This is the first day home where I have felt like sitting up out of bed for any length of time. After laying on my back for four months, I get light heading sitting up. Very normal I hear. This have been long ordeal and very difficult for Barb as a full time care giver. She and my kids have been great.

I have never been in pain from the very beginning. A real blessing. I think it will be several months before we discover what our lives will be like. I am now in a wheel chair and learning to adjust. We have hired some part time help to help get on the throne and roll in bed - Have to roll from side to side every four hours to avoid bed sores which can become a serious problem. Look forward to the time when I can sit up most of the day in my wheel chair and read and do stuff on the computer. Some one has given us a power wheel chair so we will have to acquire a vehicle to carry it. Probable a month away for this.

What can I say about the whole process? The three months in the nursing home were tough waiting for the operation to heal so I could get to therapy. Therapy for five weeks was hard but it was the final step before I could get home.

I still have a lot to learn about taking care of myself. It may take quite a while. For the present I sleep a LOT and do exercises to build up my arms.

This has not been a spiritual experience. Getting hurt should not effect a person's beliefs. Nothing has changed. Truth is truth and getting hurt is irrelevant.

Reading a book about Obama. Very interesting person.

Thanks to all who have sent me emails and cards and phone calls. You have all meant a lot to me.

This whole thing in not a tragedy - just a great big nuisance.

Love to all,

Don

dictated from Dad

Hi wonderful friends!

I am happy to be at home and I am trying to make life as easy as possible for my wonderful care-giver, my wife.

In the next days I'll post a long blog for everybody.

Best wishes to all,

Don

every day is better

Every day he is stronger, but we've a ways to go.

Mom is tired. I am tired. Looking after Dad is a non-stop project. If you are considering helping, please do. Specifically, we need people to commit to coming by between 5 and 6 in the evening to put him in his chair for dinner, and then again between 8 and 9 in the evening to get him back to bed. We will need this for the next month or so.

We have hired in help for the mornings from 9-12, and then I go over from 12:30 to 4 with kids in tow. Paid helpers only come for 3 hour minimums, so it seems a bit silly to bring them in for 15 minutes of help.

Helping him transfer is really a matter of helping him stay balanced. It is not laborious, but it is more than Mom can safely do.

Other than the transfers, we can handle his therapies and other needs.

If you would like to help, please email me at chndlrs@msn.com and I will add you to the LotsaHelpingHands website from whence you can sign up for whatever help suits you.

home at last, home at last

Dad ate dinner last night at his own table. His yummy dinner was provided by his lovely niece-in-law Kristi.

Help!

If you asked to be added to the list, you were. I have a whole bunch of you that show up on the "Added but not ever Signed-In" list. You need to confirm you participation by responding to the email that you got. I'm guessing that some Junk Email filters sent the email to never-never land, so I just sent another. Check your inboxes. It should have a subject line like this: [LHH] blah blah blah.

The instructions are easy to follow. Give me a call if you need a walk-through. 398-7687

That being said, we need meals on Wed and Thur of next week. Thanks to those of you who already signed up.

I've never in my life seen my Mom on the receiving end of this sort of help. She is usually the Helper. She is thrilled to hear that dinner is coming.

Through all this, the outpouring of love and support from my parents' friends and even the children and friends of my parents' friends have been a great sustainment to all of us. Even more than ever, I want to be like my folks when I grow up.

Autonomic Dysreflexia

Last time I visited Dad, I learned about Autonomic Dysreflexia.

I'll try to explain it in non-medical terms. Something goes wrong in the body, the sort of thing that would, in a non-paralyzed person, result in discomfort or pain and action to relieve the discomfort or pain. In paraplegics, it can happen that the nerves sends the pain or discomfort to the 'auto-pilot' part of the brain but of course no message reaches the part of the brain that can do anything to relieve the discomfort or pain. Well, the body still knows that something needs to give, so it ramps up its response, basically starting a physical panic response in the body of someone who doesn't have a clue that he or she is in crisis. AD can be life-threatening.

Speaking of life-threatening, did you know that the statistics indicate that if a person survives the first ten days of whatever caused them to become paralyzed, they usually live at least another ten years. The far-and-away leading cause of death for paraplegics is, however, pneumonia, so if you are sneezy and wheezy, don't visit my folks.

Anyway, back to AD; if you would like to learn more, click the link above.

Why am I getting all medical on you? Because many of you have offered to help, and if you are like me, the more you know the more comfortable you are. So I'm just going to share whatever comes my way.

questions you haven't asked, but probably have wondered about.

As we are ramping up (har har har) for Dad's big move home, I thought I'd guess what your questions might be. How'd I do?

What muscles work? What ones do not? Dad has good back muscles. He can control his forward tilt with his back. He has no tummy muscles, so flopping backwards is a problem. His range of loss in the front is about two inches below the nipples.

What about, uhm, er, tolieting? These websites should answer all your questions and perhaps then some: #1 and #2.

Any chance of recovery? Not so much. The neurosurgeon said that the injury was complete, which means that the whole spinal cord was damaged. An incomplete injury means that the front or the back or some part of the cord was not damaged, and those folks have more function than Dad. Dad's spinal cord was not severed, but all parts of it were damaged by the bits of crushed vertebrae.

By the way, lots of folks tell stories about people who broke their backs and are walking again. Therein is the difference between damaging your spinal bones and damaging your spinal cord.

Any chance of improvement? Absolutely. He regularly has twitchy legs in response to his legs being bumped or touched. This is a good sign, even though the twitches are involuntary. Today the therapist was trying to get some good twitches going so that Dad could, on an up-twitch, grab his leg in preparation for moving it off the bed.

Where did he get that fabulous haircut? I did that. Dad can be glad he wasn't my first haircut, featured here. I don't charge anything and I think they both overpaid.

LotsaHelpingHands.com

Dad's website at LotsaHelpingHands is so cool.



Once you are signed up you can log in and see a list of what is needed for each day and where the gaps in. What a great resource!!

Saw Dad today. He is great.

Jamie was talking to someone on the phone tonight and the term handicapped came up in reference to Dad. Jamie said that he has having a hard time getting his head around that word in connection to Dad. I was staring at Jamie slack-jawed. It had never ever occurred to me that Dad is handicapped. Well DuH! I suppose he is. But the thought had not crossed my mind.

Lotsa Helping Hands

Just want to explain a bit more about the Lotsa Helping Hands resource. Here is what can happen:

easy peasy

You email me (chndlrs@msn.com) to ask to be added.

You receive an email that explains how to get set up and includes your special one-time activation info.

You follow the instructions in the email.

You get signed up and logged in.

(Karen McKay and I load the site with all the times, dates, and details of what is needed.)

You peruse the needs and see what fits your skills and time available.

You sign up right then and there.

Think of all the phone calls this will save!!

Why, yes, you could help!

It's time. All those offers of help are about to be called in. Karen MacKay has graciously offered to coordinate the volunteers and is using the excellent online resource LotsaHelpingHands to keep us all organized.

The easiest and most efficient way for you to get on board is to visit the sign-up page and, after agreeing to the terms, clicking on Contact a Coordinator at the bottom of the left sidebar to email me at chndlrs@msn.com. This will send a request that you be added to the Don's Helpers community. After a coordinator adds you as a member, the system will send you an email with your sign-in link. You must use the email to sign in the first time. After that you can go directly to the website.

In addition, Karen may be calling you. :)

Don's Field Trip

Dad got to go home for a couple of hours this week. They needed to test drive the ramp and confirm that the doorways, restroom, etc. were all going to work for him. It was a real treat to see him under his own roof again.

after 7 please

Dad is working really hard every day and has asked that we don't visit him until after 7:00 pm as he needs the late afternoon and dinner hour to rest up. He loves visitors, but do wait until after 7 please.

email update

We are about to close down the notesfordon gmail account as it has served its purpose.

If you want to send email to Dad (and please do) use the link to St. Joe's form in the top right corner of this page. It will get printed and delivered to him, though he will not be able to answer it. I would expect that in May you can start to use Dad's old gmail address and he will be able to both receive and reply to your mail.

If you want to send mail to Mom, she is the new owner of her very own email address and a laptop with which to use it. You can mail her at bjlholmes @ gmail . com -- take out the spaces.

I'll post bigger and easier to see pics of the ramp in the next few days.

pics from the ramp project!

The New Normal

If you haven't been to see Dad yet, or if it has been awhile, you may be feeling sorry for him, imagining or remembering him frail and weak. You really ought to go see him. He is indeed a bit thinner and more horizontal, but his mighty presence is glowing strong and he is getting used to the new normal

The best time to visit is in the evenings.

coming along nicely

Dad is super! I heard him say to visitors today, "I'm okay, this is all just a big nuisance."

I went to therapy with him one day. You can try this. Lie down on your side. Put the lower arm over your head, palm down. Get up without using your legs or your tummy muscles. It's really hard.

Answering his own phone

360/715-6427